Playing Hooky

I’m playing hooky from my blog for the next few days.

Okay, not really.

But I will be doing my writing practice for the next few days over at The Campbell Chronicles. Our family blog has been sadly neglected over the past few months, but I’ve finally been inspired to do something about it. I’m calling it a “blog reboot.”

Anyway, if you’re looking for me, that’s where I’ll be. I’m listing links below to all the posts I will be making there over the next few days:

When the First Language Becomes the Second Language

No, this is not a post about how I am afraid that Alex is starting to forget English now that he is immersed in Spanish at school three days a week. It is a post about how children subconsciously alter the way they speak their first language when they are in their second language environment.

All the kids at Hansei learn English as a foreign language, starting in pre-K. (I believe Korean is also an option when they get older.) Today, we attended an English open house at Hansei. All the kids participated — the younger grades sang songs, while the older grades put on plays and did poetry readings. Alex’s Kindergarten class sang several songs, like “There Was a Farmer Had a Dog,” “The Wheels on the Bus,” and “The Hokey Pokey,” complete with actions and motions. At first, Rusty and I noticed that the other kids were looking to Alex, rather than their teacher, to know what to do. Which I guess is probably normal, as he is not only a full year older, but also a native English speaker.

But then, we realized that he had adopted a very Latino accent in the way he was pronouncing certain words like “little” (LEE-tell), and “goodbye” (GUDE-bai). I was thoroughly amused by this, and it reminded me of a similar time in my own life when I spoke English with a perfect Kenyan accent…

When I was in first grade, I was chosen to recite a poem for an end-of-the-year program at my school, Victoria Primary School, in Kisumu, Kenya. I practiced my poem at home for weeks in my normal accent (and to this day, I still remember the first verse of it by heart), but when the time came for me to stand up and recite, I did it like a Kenyan. My mom says if she had closed her eyes, she would never have known it was her own daughter standing up there. Of course, my parents were in fits of laughter, and trying to hide their faces behind the people in front of them so I wouldn’t see and become flustered. I was blissfully unaware of all of this. I finished reciting my poem and left the stage.

Later, on the way home, my mom asked me to recite my poem again. I obliged, of course in my American accent. She said, “No, I want you to recite it like you did at the school.”

I was confused. “That is how I recited it at the school,” I said. I had absolutely NO IDEA what I had done or why the fact that I had used a Kenyan accent in a situation that OBVIOUSLY called for it was so very funny to my parents. Years later, of course, I can see the humor in it, and that is partly what made hearing Alex do a similar thing so funny today.

One of the great benefits of growing up a TCK is the exposure to other languages. And, additionally, the exposure to other ways of speaking a language (other accents, different words for the same thing, etc.). I find that I am a sort of chameleon when it comes to accents. Leave me in a certain place long enough, and I will start to adopt the local accent. In the South, I start to drawl and say words like “ya’ll,” and up North, I order “pop” and speak through my nose. But I do find that I can more readily understand different accents than a person who has spent their entire life in one geographic location. And I’m better able to understand ESL speakers with heavy accents.

It seems that Alex, for his part, is well on his way to becoming an “accent chameleon” like his mother!

photo(3)

The Stay Awake Challenge: Week 14

Week 14 is about honoring your body. Read the challenge here.

I’m coming to realize something about myself. I’m really not that great at self-care. I’m especially not good at taking care of my body. Regular exercise, getting enough rest, drinking plenty of water, even flossing are all things I struggle to incorporate into my life. That probably sounds funny coming from a thin person — but just the fact that someone doesn’t have a weight problem doesn’t necessarily mean they are healthy. In fact, I would venture a guess that sometimes thin people are some of the most unhealthy people — because they don’t have to eat right and exercise regularly in order to maintain their thin physique.

Over the past month, I have been taking steps to change that. I purchased The Ultimate Homemaking E-Book Bundle when it went on sale at the end of April, and my purchase included a 2-month free membership to Fit 2 B Studio, a sort of online health club with tons of workout videos that you can do in the comfort of your own home. I decided I wanted to start small with maybe some ab workouts to try to flatten out my “belly pooch” that has been there since after Ben was born. So, I started poking around the website and trying out some of the videos, and I discovered that I have something called diastasis (a separation of the abdominal muscles, very common after pregnancy) that can’t be fixed with crunches, sit-ups, and other traditional ab exercises. I’ve been doing some of the exercises on the Fit 2 B website for almost a month now, and I am very pleased with the results I’m seeing — and I haven’t had to do a single sit-up! I also set up our Wii Fit so I could use that for exercise as well.

For this challenge, I am supposed to write a list of 5 things that I will do to help me honor my body. Obviously, exercise is one (my goal is 3-4 times per week for now). The others are — to drink more water, start taking my vitamins again, go to bed by 11:00 (need to revisit the sleep challenge), and limit myself to one soda per week.

The picture I chose to use for this challenge was taken during our anniversary get-away to the Black Sheep Inn. We went on an invigorating hike and ate our picnic lunch at the top of a ridge with amazing views of a peaceful valley. My legs were burning when we got back to our cabin, but it felt so good to be so physically tired. Later that afternoon, we soaked our sore muscles in the hot tub, and I even painted my toenails (something I rarely do). I need to be better at making time to pamper myself occasionally — even if it’s just a bubble bath or a pedicure or a haircut (desperately need one of those!).photo(1)I am more than my body, it’s true. But I also inhabit this body for now, and hopefully for many years to come, and I need to make sure that I honor it by taking care of it to the best of my ability.

Answers to the ADHD Question

It is always nice to have your opinions about your child validated by an objective professional. I was happy to comply with Hansei’s request that we have Alex tested, but I seriously doubted that he really did have ADHD. He is distractible and full of energy and hard to handle sometimes, but ADHD? At the same time, though, I wondered — did his behavior just seem normal to me because I’m his mother and that’s how he’s always been? So I am grateful to have a definitive answer to the ADHD question.

And the answer is that while he does exhibit some tendencies of ADHD, they are mild, and do not require medication. The possibility that behavior-altering medication would be recommended or prescribed was probably my main concern. I would have been willing to try almost anything else, including a strict diet, before going there. I am not against medication, and I do believe that ADHD is a true disorder and there are instances where medication is necessary and helpful. I guess what I have a problem with is the suggestion that I should medicate my child just because it makes life easier for his teachers.

We spent some time discussing possible “accommodations” to make learning easier for Alex — things like sitting in front of the class where there are less distractions, giving his hands something to do while he is listening (squishy balls), and allowing him to move around to expel energy. I have the results in both English (for my own records) and Spanish (to give to the school), which is nice.

Alex also took the WISC intelligence test, and came out on the “high average” end. He actually scored higher on the 2 components that are more inborn, and lower on the 2 components that are learned skills, which the counselor said is totally normal for a kid his age. In her words, “He’s very smart, and he’s only going to get smarter.” I wonder if this might explain some of his behavioral problems? Kids do tend to act out more when they are bored.

One thing the counselor asked Alex to do during the testing was draw a picture of his family. These drawings are then analyzed (kind of like dream analysis, which I have never put much stock in). Anyway, here is what Alex drew:

alex family

 

And the first thing you notice about the picture is that all the legs are super long — actually, Alex and Stephen are more proportional, but Rusty and I have unnaturally long legs. Anyway, according to the experts, children who draw really long legs are trying to tell you they need more stability in their lives.

Interesting, no? I like to think that Alex is saying, in his limited, 7-year old way, “Enough already!” If you know anything about our journey the past 7 years, since Alex was born, you know that we have basically been through one transition after another. It always seemed to me that Alex took it all in stride, but I have also wondered often over the past several years if there would be emotional and behavioral repercussions to all our moving around and changing course mid-stream. This drawing gives me at least an inkling of the answer to that question and helps me recognize that providing stability and security is of utmost importance to our children’s health and development over the next few years.

The Stay Awake Challenge: Week 13

Week 13 is about minding your words. Read the challenge here.

Being mindful and intentional about the words we speak, especially to our children, is so very important, and also so very difficult. At least for me. I’ve had this challenge tucked away in the back of my head for awhile now, but even though I’ve been trying to make more of an effort to “mind my words,” I still find myself slipping up so often.

If you read the challenge (click the link above), you’ll notice that Shawn asks, “When was the last time you said something you wish you hadn’t?” Um… how about tonight at dinner when Stephen spilled an entire cup of milk all over the table and the just-cleaned floor because he was trying to take a drink while we were praying? I won’t lie — I yelled. I was harsh, much too harsh. He cried. I grumbled while mopping up the spilled milk that my soup would be cold by the time I got to eat it.

I yell a lot as a parent. More than I thought I would. More than I want to. I don’t like being a yelling mom, but all serious efforts to kick this habit have been met with epic failure. I’ll commit to not yelling, and I’ll do really well for a day or two, and then all of a sudden, BAM! Something will happen and I’ll lose control and start yelling. Like tonight.

Several months ago, I discovered a blog called The Orange Rhino. The blogger is a mom who challenged herself to go 365 days without yelling at her kids. She is currently on day 482. Wow! I am simultaneously impressed, inspired, and incredulous. Is it really possible to not yell at one’s children AT ALL? Apparently so — this woman at least has done it for well over a year now! And her website is chock-full of helpful advice and tips on curbing yelling — from a real mom with real children (4 boys!), not just some “expert” with a lot of letters after his name.

week13Shifting gears slightly, but still in the vein of minding your words… one of the things I did for Rusty this year for his 40th birthday was compile a “Rusty in 40 Words” list. I tried to use words that really captured the essence of Rusty — who he is, not what he does. It seems a simple exercise, and it is, but it was actually harder to come up with the list than I thought it would be when I began. I had to be selective and mindful (there’s that word again) since I was only allowed 40 words! I’m sharing a photo of the list here as a positive example of what “minding your words” can mean.

Recap of the Past 2 Weeks

It feels like a million years since I last wrote. But it’s really been only two weeks. Here are a few of the highlights:

  • We finally got to meet with the counselor at Alliance to go over the results of the ADHD and intelligence tests that Alex took. This is really worth a post in and of itself, but in summary, while he does have mild tendencies toward ADHD, it was not anything the counselor felt warranted further testing or medication.
  • We went to see “Star Trek Into Darkness,” and it totally rocked! Best movie I have seen in a long time — I absolutely love what they have done with the series reboot! We had to settle for the 3D version, which I usually try to avoid because it makes me sick to my stomach; however, this time, I barely noticed after awhile. The technology must be getting better.
  • Neill and Julie stayed with us for over a week, and we thoroughly enjoyed their company. We took them up to Papallacta one day to soak in the hot springs, and Neill helped Rusty do some work on our Land Rover. They headed off to Columbia, their next stop on their round-the world venture, last Monday.
  • We had our friends the Yorks over for one last meal and round of Dominion before they headed back to the U.S. and their new life there. We will sure miss them!
  • We celebrated our 14th anniversary with a two-night stay at the Black Sheep Inn, in a truly lovely part of Ecuador near the stunning Quilotoa Crater Lake. Also worth it’s own blog post. The kids stayed with Josh and Julie and had so much fun they didn’t want to leave! Stephen actually started crying when we pulled up to the house to pick them up, and it wasn’t because he missed us.

Okay, so that was all just the first week. Last week, we finished a 2-month stint of focused language classes. After all the craziness of the past several weeks, I am honestly looking forward to taking a break from Spanish studies for awhile. It was all I could do to get through that last week, and now that it’s over, I want nothing more than to just curl up in my bed and hibernate away from the world for at least a week with my Robert Jordan book (now on #3, with 11 to go). But, well, I’ve got these 3 kids that need to be fed and clothed and educated. And Rusty left on Sunday for the jungle and the first medical mission of the summer, so it’s all on me for the next few days.

I’m hopeful that as life slows down some over the next several weeks, I’ll have more time to devote to writing and some other projects. I’m actually going to be guest-posting on 2 other blogs in the next couple of months! I’ll be sure to link those up here once they go live.